Thursday, September 06, 2012


I don't have any pictures of the beginning of our day because we went kayaking up and down the Hanalei River and as long as there was the chance that we, or our stuff, would be getting wet I didn't bring my iPhone.

It was quite the adventure. Alan and I are decidedly not kayaking experts, even though we've attempted to kayak many times. Whereas people that are good at kayaking can hold a straight line, we zig-zag our way to our destination, thereby extending the amount of time we're on the water, and the number of rows our arms and shoulders have to produced. From the river we kayaked out into Hanalei Bay with the intent of kayaking over to Hideaways Beach. Yeah, that did not work out. A bit past the Princeville Hotel we somehow navigated ourselves into the 2-3 foot wave breakers and said waves tried to toss me from the kayak. Everything got wet. Alan wanted to keep going but I was terrified of being catapulted out of the kayak and onto the reef (you may recall my rather painful introduction to the Maui reef earlier this year) so I convinced him to turn back around and beach our kayak on a stretch of somewhat private beach near the hotel. We hung out there for a little while and then made our way back to the kayaking company, but not before my hands had developed blisters and my shoulders felt like they were going to come out of their sockets. I don't think I'm made for adventure travel, and yet every trip I keep saying, "we should do ..."

Later that night we went to a luau at Tahiti Nui. We hadn't really intended to go to a luau while we were here but we wanted to visit Tahiti Nui and Wednesday night is luau night so there you have it. It was actually a really great time. There were maybe 50 or 60 people in attendance and the entertainment was really great. It felt more like being at someone's house for a celebratory luau than going to one that is professionally done.

Unfortunately at our table there was a lady that (1) can't handle her alcohol, and (2) looked and acted like a cross between Kathy Griffin and Sideshow Bob ... on crack. She was HORRIBLE. At one point they invited a bunch of us up on stage to learn how to hula. I had just told Alan, "maybe I'll take a hula class" and so I was excited to learn at least a bit. Because there were too many of us to fit across the stage they broke us up into two rows - the crackhead was directly in front of me. I couldn't see a thing the hula instructor was telling us to do. At one point Crack Head started doing the dance from Pulp Fiction and bumping and grinding to the music. It was so embarrassing. I was horrified - the hula is sacred to the Hawaiians and this lady was acting like she was dancing on tables at her local dive bar. So inappropriate.

Anyhow, we got home and tried to watch Bill Clinton's speech at the DNC because all of Twitter was atwitter with how awesome it was but I fell asleep about 20 minutes in. This seems to be a running theme with this vacation. Must be all that aventuring.