So I mentioned on Twitter yesterday (or was it the day before?) sort of in passing that I'm done with Paleo, with gluten-free, with all of it. For over a year I've been cutting out most of the foods that I love in an effort to improve my gut health and naturally control my terrible GERD. Some days were better than others, but there has not been one single day - seriously - that I've been eating this way that I haven't been in some sort of pain. Fire belly, chest pain, arm pain ... these are my constant companions. And it doesn't matter if I eat no carbs or grains, low carbs and gluten-free grains, or lots of carbs and anything I want. The result is the same: I'm always, despite what I do, in pain.
So I'm done trying to figure it out. I'm done denying myself the things I want. To kick off this decision we went on a donut run. Go big or go home, I say.
Since making this decision I actually feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. No longer do I have to worry about pain management and menu management. If I want a bowl of buckwheat noodles with ginger and sautéed mushrooms, I'm going to have it. If I want homemade pizza on the grill, smothered in arugula, I'm going to have that too. If I want hashbrowns for breakfast, you can bet I'm going to have those. A bowl of rice at sushi? Yup. I haven't yet had popcorn, but dear god I cannot want for popcorn. Popcorn, with truffle oil, chopped parsley, and finely grated parmesan is one of my greatest food pleasures.
This doesn't mean, however, I'm going whole hog. Today I had a tomato salad for lunch. Same yesterday. Last night for dinner we had grilled chicken thighs in lettuce wraps with chopped veggies and more sauteed mushrooms (I'm on a mushroom kick, can you tell?). While we're on vacation, I'm looking forward to our breakfast tradition - everything bagels, whipped cream cheese, chopped green onions, and sliced tomatoes. I'm looking forward to some amazing Acme warm sourdough smothered in stinky french cheese.
Tomorrow is my 35th birthday and I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to eat, drink, and be merry. This likely means I'll spend the next year gaining back the 15-20 pounds I've lost, but at some point I have to be okay with that. I have a great husband, wonderful friends, and aside from all of my health woes, a pretty fabulous life. I want to enjoy that as much as I can.