Friday, March 16, 2012

SOCIAL MEDIA ISN'T SO SOCIAL SOMETIMES

So ... I deleted my Facebook account today.

 

That probably seems pretty counter-intuitive to most people I know, especially those that are using social media to help build their own personal brand, or promote their blogs, or engage in "the conversation." But for me, none of those reasons mattered. Or at least not anymore.

Back when I worked in PR, it was all about building your personal brand - establishing oneself as a social media afficianado, someone who was clearly savvy about all social mediums and how they could be used for their clients. Only, my clients were mostly enterprise software companies and social media was as foreign to them as another language. I was friends with reporters, and other PR people, and my clients ... and I found myself not being authentic. That's not to say that I ever posted anything that wasn't real; rather, it wasn't the real me. It was the professionally sanitized version of me. When I quit my job in PR in late 2010, I kept on with the keep on because when you're interviewing, people look at that stuff. Your social acumen truly does matter. Once I started my new job and my social stature became a non-issue, I started taking back my Facebook profile - it was just me, myself, and I. I unfriended clients. I unfriended reporters. I unfriended people I knew through PR, but didn't really know anything about. It was liberating, in a way.

After awhile though, I realized that I wasn't really getting anything out of Facebook that I wasn't also getting on Twitter. Yeah, several people "like" my posts, and that's great. But I didn't feel like the information I was reading - or putting out there, to be honest - was all that meaningful, to anyone. And then I realized that I couldn't really complain about not having actual conversations if I wasn't willing to invest the time myself. So I started commenting more on people's posts instead of just hitting the little like button. If someone asked for insight into a topic I'd take the time to respond and give them the information I had. What's the best restaurant in Berkeley for an event or a romantic dinner? What's the best Hawaiian island for romance (or family)? What are some good activities to do on the weekend in the Bay Area? What are some good beach reads? What are some good travel sites? What are some good real estate sites? If there was a question a friend was asking that I felt I could help them with, I would take the time to do it.

And then these past few weeks I noticed that the behavior was not being reciprocated. I have a lot of people on my friends list who work in the same general field that I do. We all run into the same particular questions from clients or our boss, or someone within our organization. I asked a fairly benign question - what podcast tool do you recommend? No answers. I know these people are recommending podcast tools to their clients, or recording the podcasts for their clients themselves. So I spent a couple of hours doing the research myself when I could have been doing my actual work. And then my boss threw me a curveball and asked me to create a podcast with slides attached. I've seen people do this. I know it can be done, but I myself have never been involved with this. So I reached out to my community and asked a more specific question about podcasting. One person responded. I couldn't use her information, but I very much appreciated that she took the time to throw something out there as a tool that could possibly work. Sadly, that was one person in about fifty that work in the field. 

So then I did a bit more digging. I looked at my wall on my iPad this morning. For each time I posted something, I had responded to two or three other people. So, I was participating the conversation, but when it came time for others to engage with me, I was predominantly talking to myself. And I have to be honest - that kind of hurt, and I don't want to feel beholden to update a social media site that doesn't make me feel good about myself - or my supposed friends. If I can take the time to comment on one of a hundred random baby pictures, I'd like to think that you could take the time to respond to something I post. Alas, that doesn't seem to be the case. So I've taken myself out of the equation. I'm guessing the only people who will notice is my sister and my mom. We'll see. In the meantime I still have - and love - Twitter

15 comments:

  1. Odd the time on this. One of my 'Facebook friends' posted an observation that Facebook has become more about sharing photos and links than about actually communicating. 

    More and more, I find myself writing out a status and then deciding that no one actually cares and canceling the whole thing.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Exactly. No one really cares. So if they don't, why should I?

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  3. Heather11:06 AM

    Right before I deleted my FB I was only posting links each day to articles about cute animals.  I'd already given up on conversation. 

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  4. Even when I was posting articles that people should care about - you know, actual news - no one commented. It's like no one on FB has anything intelligent to say. At all.

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  5. I noticed this a long time ago.  At least I can still read your blog that I love.  I will miss you.  I've even started skipping several days in a row since I haven't felt good.  I don't twitter, so I'm so happy to have google! :)

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  6. Linda Roos2:20 PM

    I totally understand your reasoning on this one. I've thought about this a lot as well, and have adjusted my FB behaviour accordingly.

    Nowadays, if I have something important to say, I usually email, text or call someone (because hey, the iPhone actually works as a telephone too, LOL) who I care about or who cares about me. I stopped using FB for that a long time ago.

    So yeah, I think FB is becoming increasingly worthless.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jennyloutaylor3:20 PM

    Are you gone from fb? You won't see my pics!

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  8. I am gone - completely. You'll have to get back to putting them on the blog. I think there's a good app for blogger.

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  9. I found that the only people I was having conversations with are those that I have offline convos with as well, so I didn't see a lot of point in pushing those convos to FB. I'm also using Google+ for people that I know "in real life."

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  10. Jenny4:53 PM

     Hopefully, it's better than the app for google plus!

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is the one I use - 
    http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/blogpress/id317799861?mt=8. Great reviews.

    ReplyDelete
  12. And this is the official Blogger one: 
    http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/blogger/id459407288?mt=8. It's free (versus the $2.99 price on the other one) but not as well reviewed.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Cate @ a tree lined street11:09 AM

    Bravo! A few years ago my email was hacked and the hacker ended up deleting all my contacts and my facebook account. At first I was indignant, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that dumb no-good hacker actually did me a favor. I don't miss it at all, in fact, I feel rather liberated! 

    ReplyDelete
  14. Cate @ a tree lined street11:09 AM

    Bravo! A few years ago my email was hacked and the hacker ended up deleting all my contacts and my facebook account. At first I was indignant, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that dumb no-good hacker actually did me a favor. I don't miss it at all, in fact, I feel rather liberated! 

    ReplyDelete
  15. I have a confession: I had to create a new FB account when I realized that a lot of the sites/apps I comment on/interact with require a FB login. So I have one again, but I don't use it. I was so upset when I realized this. :-( Of course within a day of setting it up people that I was happy to be rid of tried friending me.

    ReplyDelete

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